I will die if light touches me.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize