I accidentally had phone sex last night
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
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