I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
