I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Randomize
