girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
the condom is still stuck, that's what I get for being responsible
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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