I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
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