this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
I've gotten 23 condolence texts about Germany's defeat. I got 3 for our break-up. That's how much my friends don't like you.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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