Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Blood and glitter go together right?
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
