and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Something like; Dear Cupid, when are you going to send me someone to date that isn't a complete psychopath
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
Randomize
