U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Randomize
