Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
