its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
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