just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
