I'll bet she douches with gravy.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
