chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
