I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Oh god. Standing was a rash decision
I made it to Starbucks to do work and I've just been sitting here with my head on the table for 30 minutes...
Sitting in bed reading a porn novel off my phone and accidentally just made Siri start reading the most graphic part aloud. FUN FIRST NIGHT WITH THE NEW ROOMIE.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
Randomize
