it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
MIDGETS
????
I left my ice cream out over night, it's melted, fuck this, I just poured Bailey's in it. Problems solved.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
I haven't even lived here for 24 hours yet, and I've already banged someone. My new hoe life is off to a great start.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
