dude i'm inner monologue high
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I just bought emergency deodorant at Dominick's and put it on in front of a homeless man while waiting for the bus. He laughed and said 'girl, you a mess'. This is my life.
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize