If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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