wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Sorry brah. Drastic times called for drastic measures and I had to go home and bang a cougar.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize
