I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
Randomize
