I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
The air was thick with penises
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
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