So drunk, too bad you don't want this
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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