Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
i feel like god sat there all night pointing and laughing at me
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I need mimosas to revive my soul
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