i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
