Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
