Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
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