How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
