You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
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