Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
Randomize
