She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
