these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I feel like im in a tornado of daylight savings, tequila and death
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Randomize
