So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
She had a glow in the dark pastie on her forehead the last time I saw her. That should help you find her.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Randomize
