Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
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