were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
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