Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
