Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Do you think they could tell I was high on that conf call?
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
She couldn't understand why my walking in on her 70 year old parents ruined any chance of a boner for at least an hour. I think she's too slow for me to fornicate with.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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