I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
