you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Also, the wait staff kept prematurely clearing my Manhattans. Not sure if it was an oversight or a hint.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
Randomize
