the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Randomize
