you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
