His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
