drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Why are your pants in the freezer?
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
Randomize
