I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Randomize
