i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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