i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
