Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Randomize
