You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
I'm bleeding and have questions
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
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