Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Randomize
