god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
so much tequila, so little girl.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
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