Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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